CheriBomb (sweetcheri) wrote in paragraph_a_day,

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my continuing story

She pulled into her driveway, put her car in park, and sighed deeply before shutting the engine off. Why does coming home always make her feel so sad these days? Maybe it has something to do with her deadbeat asshole of a husband. She sighs again while gathering her things together to take into the house. She is exhausted again. Working full-time and going to school is taking its toll on her.

She opens the front door and immediately starts coughing. The jerk has been smoking in the house again. How many times does she have to ask him not to do that!! He knows it triggers her asthma, and yet he does it anyway. She looks around and sees that once again, he has sat on his ass all day and done nothing around the house. You would think that if he is going to be a sorry lazy-ass without a job that he would at least TRY to do something around the house! Is it that hard to clean up after yourself, or wash the dishes, or do a load of laundry?

She heads for the bedroom to put her things down and relax for a few minutes. She needs those few quiet moments to try and regroup after her Chemistry exam tonight. But no, here he comes. She turns around and says, "Billy, please let me have just a few minutes to myself. I have had a really long day and I just want to relax for a few minutes." Does he fucking listen? No, he follows her all the way into the room, chattering non-stop. "What's for supper? We're out of clean towels; when are you going to do laundry? I need some money to buy cigarettes. Your parents want you to call them when you get home. I called and asked your dad if I could borrow some money, but he wouldn't give me the money. What's up with that?" She throws her hands up in the air, totally exasperated! "BILLY! PLEASE! Go away and give me a few minutes to myself!! I don't want to hear all of this right now!!" she yells.

He looks at her with scorn. "I've been here all day by myself! I want to talk! Why should I leave you alone? It's not like you should be going to school anyway. You're never going to pass. You're too stupid to pass your classes."

She turns to leave the room, heading for the room on the other end of the house, but he grabs her and stops her. "Don't walk away from me, you bitch! I'm not done talking to you." She jerks her arm free and plants her feet. She pushes him with all of her strength, sending him into the closet door, which caves in and leaves him on his ass on the closet floor. She lets out a guttural scream, "Leave me the fuck alone!!" She has never felt such rage in her life!! All of these months of verbal abuse, overwork, studying, not being able to pay the bills because of his sorry ass, have finally caught up with her. Tears of anger are pouring out of her eyes. She is shaking with anger. She heads toward the back of the house, knowing that he is going to follow her as soon he picks himself up off the floor. The urge to punch something rises up in her. She reaches the bedroom on the other end of the house, and looks at the back door right beside the bedroom door. She lets lose. She starts pounding on the back door with the side of her fist. She is hitting it with every ounce of strength she has, all the while, screaming, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"

All of a sudden, she swings and the back door pops open! She has hit it so hard that she has bent the lock and popped the chain! She has caused a locked door to pop open. She looks at it with her mouth agape. Then she turns and goes into the back bedroom. She sits in her grandmother's old chair. It's been her favorite chair since she was a child, and she is immediately comforted by its familiarity.

Then Billy walks into the room, immediately bitching at her about the back door being broken. She looks at him with searing hatred glowing in her eyes. She speaks in a guttural voice she doesn't recognize. "If you don't get the fuck out of my sight RIGHT NOW, I will kill you with my bare hands."

For the first time since they were dating, Billy listened to her. He very slowly backed his way out of the room and closed the door. Marylin still trembled with rage, though it wasn’t nearly as palpable as it had been. She seemed to be having trouble clearing the murderous feelings from her body as thoughts and questions tumbled through her mind. “Where the hell did that come from?” She was not a violent person. As a matter of fact, she loathed violence of any kind, and yet, she had just threatened to kill someone with her bare hands! And not just anyone, her own fucking husband! She had never felt so confused. “How could I have felt that way? What is happening to me? Would I have really been capable of killing him?” She had never felt this way before, and it scared her but thankfully, something finally distracted her from her thoughts “Damn, my hand hurts!”
All of a sudden, the bedroom door flew open, making her jump. She looked up into the worried eyes of her daddy. She jumped out of her chair and ran into her daddy’s arms. He never asked questions, but he had the uncanny knack of knowing exactly when she needed him the most. She sobbed uncontrollably, soaking her daddy’s shirt, while he held her and whispered soothing words of comfort in her ear.

As her sobs gave way to quiet tears, she leaned back in her daddy's arms and stared up into eyes filled with the unconditional love of a father who loves his daughter. In a quiet, tired voice, she asked, "Daddy, how did you know I needed you here? How do you always know?"

He smiled at her as he pulled out his handkerchief and began wiping the tears from her face. "A daddy always knows when his baby girl needs him. It's because your heart is connected to mine. I hurt when you hurt. I cry when you cry. I am happy when you are happy. I don't stop to question the feeling when it comes, but I always know when something is wrong."

Her eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill over once again. "I don't understand that kind of connection, but I am glad you have it. And I need your help, daddy. I need to get out. I can't do this anymore. I need to be free of him. He is turning me into someone I don't like, and I feel like I am losing parts of myself. I need help to get out. I am afraid of what I might do if I stay."

She watched as his eyes clouded over with white-hot anger. He spoke with fire in his voice, "I will do whatever you need me to do to help you get free of this fucking bastard. It is taking every ounce of control I have not to kill the motherfucker myself! Just tell me what you want me to do."

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